Q) When do vampires like horse racing?

A) When it's neck and neck

http://www.animalden.net/jh/horsejoke.htm


Yahooligans/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/category?c=13

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... the toyworld manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

No offence to any one that is blond , i just thought it was a bit funny


Horse Racing jokes
http://horseracing.about.com/library/bljoke.htm

http://www.funny-haha.co.uk/Category.asp?C=58

Q) What animal has more "hands" than feet?

A) Why, a horse, of course!


Q) How long should a horse's legs be?

A) Long enough to reach the ground.


Then there was the horse trainer who told riders that the hardest part about learning to ride was the ground.


There was a famous jockey that never lost a race. When asked how he achieved this, he replied, I whisper in the horse's ear: Roses are red, violets are blue. Horses that lose are made into glue.



A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I’m gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain’t outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town. The bartender walks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to bloody walk home."


Q) What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

A) Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


Q) What did one horse say to the other horse?

A) The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.


Q) What are the only animals to sleep with their shoes on?

A) A horse, of course!



How many horses have three legs?

They all do!



Q) What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?

A) All breeds. Houses don't jump.



Q) A man rode into town on June 3rd, stayed a week, and rode out on June 3rd. How is this possible?

A) His horse's name was June 3rd.





An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper. Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move. Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move. Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull." Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."



Q. How can horses have 6 legs??

A. 2 at the front and forelegs at the back!!!!

Funny funny funny
had a good chucle reading your jokes Popstar.

thanks

Chris

It's a lot like nuts and bolts - if the rider's nuts, the horse bolts!

When someone says “Hey!” Say “Straw is cheaper, grass is free, you live on a farm you get all three!”